Sorry seems to be the hardest word…..
An ex-girlfriend of mine used to say:
“Never explain, never apologise.”
At the time, I was too young and too naive to challenge her assertion. However, years later, and the fires of passion having dampened and died, I look back and think “What a load of b****cks”!
Her attitude of ‘brazening it out’ was not only arrogant but showed a complete lack of understanding of the foundation of relationships.
It is no different for business relationships. Trust is as much built from the accepting responsibility for mistakes and fixing them, as it is from anything else we do.
Many lawyers confuse an apology with being some kind of “admission of liability”, for them, sorry does seem to be the hardest word. The challenge will come when new market entrants from “service” backgrounds begin to compete. Service levels becomes a core element of their “product” and acceptance of “service failures” forms an essential part of their offering – then some lawyers may be face to reevaluate their relationship with the “S” word.
To aid this transition, emotionally, here are some famous apologies from history:
- BILL CLINTON TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE for his dalliance with Ms Lewinsky, which he acknowledged was “a critical lapse in judgment and a personal failure on my part for which I am solely and completely responsible.”
- MEL GIBSON (take your pick) for his anti-Semitic rant at a Jewish police officer, which he described as “unbecoming” in his ”inebriated state”.
- RICHARD NIXON TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE resigning post “Watergate” – Nixon manages to get through his whole speech without expressly apologising or using the “S” word.
- NOBEL FOR INVENTING DYNAMITE – and seeking a better legacy through the peace prize.
- TONY BLAIR FOR: Slavery, Irish Famine, Historical Miscarriages of Justice – all before his time and then, finally, for Iraq deaths.
Please post any more you can think of?
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An interesting thought and for consumer facing law it rings true (although not an area I have much experience with). However for City lawyers, I feel the comparison to accountants is always useful as they have been open to a wider range of competition for considerably longer than lawyers.
From my experience the Big Four are no more likely to apologise than lawyers; they will blame others, bluff and make excuses like all the rest. Just my own experience, but I suspect it holds true.
Nick Lindsay
29/06/2012
John Terry, Vernon Kay, Cheryl Cole, Rupert Murdoch…
Probably my most shocking moment was Michael Richards, more famously known as Kramer from Seinfeld (one of my all time favourite shows) who spewed up a racist rant whilst doing his stand up. He had a hit on most ethnic groups in a splatter gun approach.
He said after the eruption:-
“You know, I’m really busted up over this and I’m very, very sorry to those people in the audience, the blacks, the Hispanics, whites — everyone that was there that took the brunt of that anger and hate and rage and how it came through, and I’m concerned about more hate and more rage and more anger coming through, not just towards me but towards a black/white conflict.”
CA
29/06/2012
I think Einstein felt great responsibility for the harm done by science such as the atom bomb. He became an activist for p;eace.
Notable by their absence of any apologies by anyone… the indigenous population of the United States of America for our genocide and theft of their land, and their culture.
ECS
10/07/2012
Regarding Point No 3 Nixon.
He did express regret for any harm he did and admitted that some decisions he took were wrong. The whole tone of the speech was one of regret and sadness – and not just at having to resign. Sorry is just a word, one often employed by what one Irish folk singer called “well-mannered thugs”, it’s the intention, the meaning, the sentiment, that really counts.
Gerald Martin
24/08/2012